Missing
by LesboDyke
Summary: This isn't how it was meant to be.


**Pauley: ANGST AHOY!**

* * *

Captain Hook was no stranger to death. He had avoided it for so long that he almost considered himself immortal in some respects.  
He'd fled to Neverland, doing all he could to live long enough to get his revenge that many, even those amongst his loyal crew, would say he was afraid of it.

And seeing the Dark One's hand deep in Emma's chest, Killian Jones would have to agree with them. He was afraid of death. And there was nothing he could do to help his true love. He'd been tasked with protecting Henry and Alice, their two week old daughter.  
Without thinking he pulled the boy close to his side, turning his head away from what Killian had known was coming.  
The Dark One wanted to return to their realm. And the only way for them to do that was for Emma to die.  
And there was nothing he could do. Except watch.

Her face turned to him and she did her best to offer him a smile, though the expression was pained more than anything, Rumpelstiltskin already applying pressure to the heart in his hand.  
Emma winced and her smile faltered. Killian tightened his grip on Alice, who had started to cry, as if she felt her mother's pain.  
Unable to do anything else as dust began to run through the Dark Ones fingers, Emma mouthed 'I love you' before closing her eyes, as if to embrace death.

Killian pulled Henry tighter to him, rocking Alice instinctively as tears made tracks down his face, his own eyes now screwed tight shut.

When he finally felt able to open them again, he knew they weren't in Storybrooke anymore. Emma's body lay before them, but Rumpelstiltskin was gone.  
He could hear her parents approaching and he turned away from his Emma, gently shoving Henry towards his oncoming grandparents.  
The teen stumbled forwards weakly and he'd have fallen if Charming hadn't caught him.  
Snow reached to take Alice but Killian pulled away, saying nothing as he moved back towards Emma slowly, crouching by her side and using his hook to move a rebellious blonde lock away from her face.  
"I love you." He whispered brokenly, hoping that she'd answer, even though he knew she never would.  
Standing slowly, his limbs shaking, Killian turned back to Snow, Charming and Henry.  
He'd been tasked to protect their children. So that's what he was going to do.

He'd bought another ship, done it up while they were living in the castle, letting Henry grieve while he worked. He wouldn't let Alice out of his sight for long, fed her from a bottle, slept with her perched upon his chest.  
She was one by the time the ship was seaworthy.  
The Swan

"I don't want to." Henry said as they stood on the docks.  
"I'm staying here." He'd grown so much since Killian had first met him, into a fine young prince. At seventeen, he was allowed to make his own choices.

"If you need me, don't hesitate." Killian had said, but as they hugged they both knew. This would likely be the last time they'd see one another.  
"Make her proud lad." He'd urged before heading up the gangplank, Alice settled on his shoulders.  
He'd enlisted the help of the fairies and Regina on certain aspects, meaning that he didn't need a crew to man this ship, he could do it alone just fine. Just him and their Alice. She looked like him, which saddened him, but she had her mother's eyes, green and inquisitive, full of wonder at the world around her. Just like Emma.  
He knew he couldn't go back to Neverland, his daughter deserved to grow up, so, with his ship baring the royal seal, he set off, planning on simply sailing from port to port.

Alice grew quicker than he wanted her to, toddling around their ship like she owned the place. Which she did.  
But she still needed her daddy, still slept in his bed, still clung to his leg and loved being carried.  
He cried when she spoke her first word. She'd been staring over the side of the boat, with him holding her steady, of course, when this quiet voice sounded from in front of him, her hand pointing at the water.  
"Sea!"  
She spoke more and more after that, every word sounding like Emma. She was her mother's daughter, through and through.

He gave her her own room when she was five. She was getting too big to sleep with him, but his bunk felt empty without his princess.  
He sometimes prayed for a storm, just so she'd curl up against him. She was all he had left of his true love and he wanted her close.

They docked often and Alice loved seeing all the people. She was spoiled, he could never say so no to her when she asked for something.  
And just like her mother before her, she hated wearing dresses, so she was often dressed as a boy. Her long hair gave her away though.

He told her stories of her Mother, of the brave woman he'd loved. He told her of her brother, a fine prince, who was married with a baby on the way now.  
And he told her stories about him, about his adventures and about how he changed, for Emma. And for her.

He started taking on crew when she was ten, not wanting Alice to be lonely. And, at her insistence, he got her a monkey, who gained the name Smee, after his stories of the man.

They took on shipping jobs, transporting cargo, sometimes giving lifts to people that needed it. He refused to steal, refused to become dark in any way while he had his Alice. Emma wouldn't want her growing up with a monster for a Father.

News of Rumpelstiltskin's death at the hands of his wife shocked Killian. He remembered the short little bookworm who wouldn't hurt a fly. Being married to a monster must have changed her.  
But after shock came relief. That beast finally got what he deserved for all the pain. For Milah. For Emma. For Alice growing up with a mother's love.

His girl kept him busy. She was growing up far too quickly, she was noticing boys and she didn't seem to need him anymore.  
That made him sad.  
His last piece of Emma and she didn't need him so much anymore.

When he first held his grandson, Henry, Killian felt his heart drop through his stomach. This boy had his father's eyes. Emma's eyes were gone.

Docking by the castle, Alice, her husband Jeremy and their two children, Henry and Emma, Killian could barely breath at the sight of the man before him on the dock, those deep green eyes staring back at him.  
"Hey." Prince Henry greeted and Killian nodded.  
"Lad."  
And then they hugged and Killian felt a violent pang of regret that Emma couldn't see her boy this big, meet her grandchildren from both of her babies, maybe even more if she'd been here.

He was tired. Three hundred years of not ageing and now, forty years after he'd come back, he was ready to see his Emma again.  
He was in the castle, he'd been unable to make it back to his ship.  
He blinked as the door opened, expecting Alice or Henry or even one of his grandchildren.  
But it wasn't any of them.  
No, instead, in walked Emma, her red jacket fixed firmly on her form, as if she'd never been away.  
"You got old pirate." She said gently, resting her hand atop his and he was surprised to find he could feel it.

"You haven't love." He replied and she smiled.

"You ready?" He nodded and she stroked his face, pressing her lips to his.

When Alice went in to see her Father, she didn't cry for his death. He was smiling and she knew.  
Her parents were together once more.


End file.
